The Box
by KeyRing
Summary: Taichi and Koushiro are going through a break up, but it's August 1st, so they have to see each other. Koushiro has a box of things for Taichi at his apartment. Taichi/Koushiro, One-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Wrote this in like 2011 and never published it-just found it so I'm publishing it now. Sorry not sorry for any rough parts, I totally don't have the energy to revise it haha.

* * *

 **August 1st, 2007**

My whole stomach was in knots.

The clock in the corner of my laptop screen ticked away the minutes as I laid in my bed in my college dorm room, slumped against a pile of pillows with a fan blowing on my face to counter the August heat. Listening to the sounds of birds and children playing that were coming in through the open window, I lazily refreshed my Facebook page, bored and looking for anything to occupy myself with other than the time.

Tick, tick, tick.

"Hey, Taichi," came Yamato's voice, breaking the silence from where he was sitting bent over a textbook at his desk across the room.

"Yeah?" I looked up, welcoming the distraction.

"Are you sure you wanna go tonight?" He swiveled his chair around to face me. "You've been moping around all day, maybe it would be better if you stayed home."

"Yes, I'm sure I wanna go," I shot back. "I'm fine, it's been a month, and I think I can handle myself in public." I was lying. I wasn't fine and I definitely didn't think I could handle myself in public, but there was absolutely no way I wasn't going to go.

"Okay, alright," said Yamato, raising his hands to indicate that he wasn't going to fight me. "I trust you. I'm just trying to look out for your well being is all."

I sighed.

"I know you are," I softened my tone. "Thank you."

"Sure thing," he swiveled back to his textbook.

I turned back to my own computer and sighed softly again.

It was exactly 6:00. In roughly 40 minutes, Yamato and I would be leaving our building and traveling across town to the same corner restaurant in Odaiba that we always went to on Digimon Memorial Day and spend the evening hanging out and reminiscing with our friends. Usually, I'm excited. Normally, it's my favorite day of the year. Typically, I look forward to commemorating our first trip to the Digital World and how that particular August 1st eight years ago changed all of our lives.

Not this year.

Not even a little bit.

Going up against the Dark Masters again sounded easier than attending the Memorial Day reunion today.

It was hard to believe that it had already been a month. That seemed crazy-it still felt like it was last week that Koushiro and I were going out on dates, staying up late playing videogames, discussing our plans for the future, and hooking up in his new apartment. It was still so bizarre and surreal to me that we would never do those things together again. It felt like he was on an extended vacation somewhere or something and that eventually he would come home and we'd settle back into our routine. The last thing it felt like was that he had suddenly broken up with me in my car one night with no explanation. But there you go, I guess.

I tried getting in contact with him for a while after it happened, but he ignored all my calls and texts. When Koushiro doesn't want to get emotional, he won't, and no one can make him. Not that I'm the best at handling my emotions either, but at least I'll try. God. After a week of getting his voicemail, I finally gave up and decided instead to do what most people do when they've had a traumatic break up and need to feel like they're in control: I went out, I got wasted, and I went home with strangers. Men, women, it didn't matter, I didn't really care. Anyone who found me attractive enough to sleep with, really, which wasn't very hard. I knew it was dumb and probably really self-destructive and not actually going to fix anything, but I didn't know what else to do. The only time I felt even a little bit okay was when I was drunk and forgetting about Koushiro with someone else's body.

The Memorial Day reunion tonight was going to be my first time seeing Koushiro since he dumped me, and as painful as it was going to be to see him, and I was hellbent on getting an answer out of him. That is, if he went. Yamato said that Sora said that Mimi said that he was definitely going, but part of me was scared he would crap out at the last second. It was unlikely that he would miss Memorial Day though, none of us ever did. Mimi even flew in from America during the years she lived there to be with us on August 1st. I was sure he'd be there. He had to be. I needed him to be.

Anyway.

6:30 finally rolled around. I got up and went to my closet and put on a different shirt. I picked one that I knew Koushiro liked because it was a little tighter and showed off my body. I thought that maybe it was manipulative, to wear a shirt I knew he found sexy, but he really deserved to be reminded of what he gave up. I went to the bathroom and brushed my hair, even though it didn't really help, and also brushed my teeth for good measure. Not that I was planning on kissing him or anything, but still. I didn't want to have disgusting teeth when speaking to him for the first time in a month.

When I came back in the room, Yamato was standing up and slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready," I said, picking up my wallet and shoving it in my pocket.

"Should we drive or take the subway?"

"I'll drive," I unhooked my keys from their place on the wall. "It's easier."

"Sounds good," he said. "Nice shirt," he added, looking me up and down and smirking at me.

"Shut up, dick," I playfully shoved him sideways and we walked out the door.

The air conditioning in the car couldn't quite cut the humidity in the air as we drove downtown. On the the opposite side of the horizon, dark grey clouds were forming, blocking the brilliant golds and pinks of the setting sun. I couldn't remember if we had closed our window before leaving. I hoped we did. I didn't want to have a shitty night seeing Koushiro and also come home to a rain soaked bed.

"Taichi," Yamato said suddenly, interrupting the silence. "I think you need to stop sleeping around."

"What?" I accidentally jerked the steering wheel, almost driving us off the road. "Why? And how did you know I was doing that!?"

"You're my best friend, we live together, and I'm not stupid," he said coolly. "Usually if someone doesn't sleep in their bed at home, it's because they've found a different one to sleep in, and I know it's not Koushiro's anymore, so."

"Hmmph," I conceded, regaining my composure.

"I mean it, you've really gone crazy," Yamato continued. "And as much as I'm sure you think it's helping you, I don't think that it is."

"Yeah, maybe," I looked out the window. "Whatever, it's my life, I can do whatever I want."

"Just because you _can_ do something doesn't mean you should," Yamato immediately retorted. "How do you think Koushiro would feel if he knew?"

"I don't care how Koushiro feels," I said, raising my voice. "He's not my boyfriend and he obviously doesn't care about how _I_ feel."

"I really don't think that's true," said Yamato. "But in any case, consider taking a vacation from your sexual adventures, alright? Just for a couple weeks at least."

"...I'll think about it," I said. "Thanks for your input."

"Sure," said Yamato.

We drove the rest of the way in silence, not because I was mad, but because I was trying to stay in control of myself and mentally prepare for the evening. I didn't really have a plan for how I was going to approach Koushiro and make him talk to me. I didn't want to attack him in front of everyone else and make a total scene, but I also wanted to make sure I had him in a place where he couldn't get away and he would be forced to give me some fucking answers. I thought that snagging him on the way out was probably my best option, assuming he didn't leave early. I supposed I would just have to feel it out and go for the kill when I saw an opportunity.

We found a parking space about half a block down the street from the place. When I stepped out of the car, I stopped.

"You cool, man?" Yamato asked, watching me steady myself with the door handle.

"Yeah," I said, straightening up. I had fought victoriously for the fate of two worlds. Seeing my ex-boyfriend should be cake. "Crest of courage, remember?" I smiled weakly.

"Yeah," Yamato nodded.

The five minute walk to the restaurant seemed to go by in five seconds and suddenly, we were entering the building, the smell of hot food and Thursday night noise flooding my senses.

We were the last ones to arrive. Everyone else was already sitting at our usual circular table near the back of the restaurant. My heart jolted at the sight of the back of Koushiro's bright red head between Mimi and Takeru and was I grateful that I wouldn't have to sit next to him. Yamato and I weaved our way between tables and Mimi's sudden scream made it clear that we had reached our destination.

"Yamato-san! Taichi-san!" she shrieked, jumping up and pulling us both into a tight hug. "I'm so happy to see you both!"

"It's good to see you too, Mimi-chan," I grinned, feeling myself start to relax. Mimi really knew how to make a person feel welcomed.

"It'll be even better when you stop choking us," Yamato said, squirming to get free from Mimi's grip.

"Oh-sorry!" she squealed, and let us go.

I straightened up and surveyed the circular table. Sora was sitting to Mimi's left, and she must have been saving the empty seat next to her for Yamato. Next to that was Jou, and then another empty chair between him and my sister, who was sitting next to Takeru. And next to Takeru-

"Hello," came a small voice that I knew too well. Before I could think, my eyes were immediately drawn to the source. Koushiro had turned in his chair and was looking up at me with his big, dark eyes.

He was still so beautiful, maybe even more lovely than I had remembered.

I wanted to die.

"Hey, Koushiro, long time, no talk, huh?" I said without smiling, hoping he could hear the biting sarcasm in my voice.

"How are you?" he asked, ignoring my comment.

"Oh, _great_ ," I said. "I'd-"

"Onii-chan, I saved you a spot," came Hikari's melodic voice, cutting me off.

"Huh-" I looked back at Koushiro who was looking up at me, his expression unreadable. Without saying anything, I squeezed my way around the table and sat down next to Hikari. I looked back at Koushiro again. He was staring at his drink glass, his eyebrows slightly creased. I knew he was thinking and I wondered if I was getting under his skin yet. Whatever it was, I really hoped he was suffering.

"Are you okay?" whispered Hikari, looking concerned. "I wanted to call you this afternoon, but Gatomon accidentally knocked my phone in the toilet a few days ago and I haven't gotten a new one yet."

"Yes," I hissed back, "Mind your own business." I knew she meant well, but I really didn't want to be treated like a crazy person all night.

She eyed me suspiciously but didn't say anything else.

"Now that we're all here," said Jou, "I say we start ordering drinks and appetizers. What does everyone want?"

"Hell yeah!" exclaimed Takeru, eagerly opening a drink menu.

"You're not old enough to drink yet!" Yamato frowned and snatched the menu out of his little brother's hands.

Jou flagged down a waitress and began putting in everyone's orders.

"...One house beer for the blonde guy, two cokes for the high schoolers, and… Taichi-san, did you want anything?"

"Um-no, thanks, I'm okay," I said.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'll just take a water."

I had consciously chosen to drive tonight to prevent myself from drinking. I had enough common sense to know that even though I was enjoying my drunk weekends at the club, tonight probably wasn't a good night to get wasted.

The food arrived and soon we all sank into happy conversation. We didn't all see each other as much now that most of us had graduated high school and started college. There were smaller groups that hung out pretty consistently, but we rarely got all eight of us together like this. I was kinda disappointed that I was so preoccupied with Koushiro to fully enjoy the moment; I really loved when we were all in the same space. It felt like home.

As the night went on, I felt myself calming down a little bit. Koushiro wasn't saying much, he usually only spoke in the group when he had something he really wanted to say, so I started taking advantage of his silence and extroverting myself. I wanted him to be reminded of how _fun_ I was and miss hanging out with me.

"Let's all share our most embarrassing moments from the DigiWorld!" I said, clapping my hands together. "Hikari, you're first."

"Oh no," she groaned, "I don't know! I'm so bad at this game."

"I know," smirked Yamato across the table. "Remember the fight between LadyDevimon and Angewoman?"

"How was that embarrassing for me?"

"It wasn't, I just wanted to remember that."

"Yamato! Gross!" Sora exclaimed, looking scandalized.

Yamato shrugged, the devious smile still on his face.

Koushiro laughed at Sora and Hikari. "I'm fairly certain that was the moment I realized I would never be intimate with a woman," he said, still smiling. "I was so horrified."

Everyone laughed, and I tried to force myself to join them, but I was suddenly feeling sick.

"Taichi-san," giggled Mimi, looking at me from across the table and sipping a fruity looking pink drink. "When was that moment for you?"

Hot anger instantly began bubbling in my stomach. How dare she even think about asking me that?

"Don't put me in a box, Mimi-chan, I've slept with girls, too. I'm not exclusively into dudes," I said dismissively, refusing to let myself be associated with Koushiro like that.

I saw his head shoot up across the table as Mimi gasped. "What?" She turned and looked at an equally shocked Sora, who immediately shook her head. Apparently my bisexuality was news to just about everyone at the table. "Since when?"

"Since… I don't know, since now, whatever-"

"Wait, you have a new girlfriend?"

"No, just casual stuff, I go out sometimes and-"

"But I thought that you said that you completely converted after you and Koushiro first had se-"

"This conversation is over," I snapped, raising my voice. If she wanted to ask me about my childhood sexual awakening, whatever, who cares, but to ask me about Koushiro? I couldn't fucking believe it. "Yes, I've fucked women," I continued aggressively, "Yes, I've also fucked men, and yes, I use to fuck Koushiro, too." I shot a cold glance at him. He began turning red and looked down at his lap and I didn't feel sorry at all. "If anyone else has anything they want to ask me about my sex life, they can talk to me privately." Not waiting to see who would awkwardly try to change the subject, I kicked my chair aside and stalked out of the restaurant.

I didn't stop walking once I got outside. Rage was pulsing through my entire body. I wanted to choke Mimi. I turned the corner and went down the street, feeling the muggy air cloud into my lungs and started wishing it would choke me instead. Anything to help me forget what was happening.

Just when I had decided to find a liquor store, I heard my name.

"Taichi-san! Wait up!"

I turned around.

"Takeru-?"

He sprinted, catching up with me. Of all the Chosen Children, Takeru was my last bet for who would be the one to chase me down. Yamato or Hikari or maybe even Sora, but not Takeru. For a second I debated walking away from him, but I really wanted to know he could possibly be thinking of saying to me.

"Look," he said, catching his breath, "Mimi feels terrible-"

"Then why isn't _she_ out here apologizing?" I snapped.

"Because I told her I wanted to talk to you," he said. He had the same calm voice that Yamato always used on me when he thought I was being ridiculous. Annoying. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," I scoffed. "Perfect. I'm having a great time."

"Taichi-san," He looked up at me with his blue eyes. "You know you're like my second big brother, right?"

"Yes," I said gruffly.

"And you know I look up to you basically just as much as I do Yamato, right?"

"Yes," I repeated, not sure why he was telling me that.

"Well, you're really disappointing me right now."

" _What?_ "

"Come on, you're the most confident, fearless, headstrong person I know-nothing phases you. No matter how tough or challenging things are, you always find a way to win." He was looking at me with so much sincerity that I instantly started feeling terrible about how I was acting.

"I guess..." I mumbled.

"So what's wrong with you? We've all been trying really hard to be sensitive to your situation with Koushiro. Sure, Mimi made a mistake, but that's not a reason to bite all our heads off." He took a breath and kept going. "No one in there is your enemy, not even Koushiro. I know it's been hard to lose him as a boyfriend, but where's the stubborn strong will that I've always admired?"

Now I really felt like shit.

"I don't know," I said. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he said. "Just come back inside, okay?. Seriously, it's not a party without the leader, and it's no fun if you're not having fun too." He added with a smile. Ugh, that kid. I sighed.

"Takeru?"

"Yeah?"

"I really, _really_ want to punch you in the face, but I won't. Thanks."

He laughed. "Anytime."

Dinner resumed normally when we got back inside, and the rest of the evening wasn't as weird as it probably should've been. I was grateful that I was with a group of people who had seen worse emotional outbursts from me. Somehow I managed to put Koushiro out of my mind despite the fact that he was still sitting at the table, politely ignored him when he spoke, and stayed on my best behavior.

I was determined to make it through the rest of the night without any more problems.


	2. Chapter 2

A little before midnight, the party started winding down, and we began heading out so people could catch the last train home. After the bills were paid, we gathered on the sidewalk outside the restaurant to say our goodbyes. As soon as I got outside, Mimi grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side, away from the others.

"Taichi-san, I'm really sorry," she said, tears sparkling in her eyes.

"Aw, Mimi, it's fine," I said, putting my hands on her shoulders. "Seriously, don't worry about it. I'm sorry for yelling at you like that."

"Oh, it's alright, I deserved it. I love you and Koushiro both so much and want to be supportive," she said, sniffing. "I'm promise I really am here for you."

"Thanks, really, that means a lot," I said, pulling her into a hug.

"Make sure you call Mom tomorrow, she misses you and you never answer her calls," Hikari said over her shoulder as she and Takeru started crossing the street.

"Yeah, yeah, I will, I promise," I waved her away, turning back to the group and getting ready to make my move. But before I could, Koushiro's voice cut me off.

"Taichi-san," came his small voice from somewhere to my left, and my stomach sank at the use of the honorific. Taichi-san. He hadn't called me that in years. I turned around and there he was, standing in front of me, looking a little sheepish.

"Yeah?" I said, my voice harsh. If Koushiro thought I sounded aggressive, it didn't show on his face.

"Sorry, I know this is awkward," he said, not making eye contact. "But I have a box of your things at my apartment and I would like you to have them back."

A box.

He had a box. He had taken all the things in his life that reminded him of me and placed them in a box that he was now trying to get rid of. He had no second thoughts, no intention of reconsidering his decision. He was getting rid of me.

"Oh," was all I could manage to say.

"Yes," he continued. "Will you please come get it tonight? I really would prefer for it to be out of my possession." He took a breath. "And I would like to talk to you too, if that's okay."

That jumpstarted my brain. "Yeah, I wanna fucking talk to you, too," I snarled. "Let's go, did you drive?"

"No," he replied. "I live close, I walked."

"Alright, I'll drive," I sighed angrily. "Hey, Yamato!"

"Yeah?" He broke away from his conversation with Sora and Mimi.

"Can you catch a ride home with the girls or something? I have to get some things from Koushiro's apartment. I'll be home later, promise," I added, seeing Yamato's eyebrows fly to his hairline at the mention of Koushiro's name.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with?"

"No, it's fine," I said.

"Alright," Yamato said, obviously still skeptical. "See you tomorrow, then."

"Let's get this over with," I said under my breath, turning back towards Koushiro. "My car is just down the street here."

"Look, Taichi-san-"

"Don't call me that," I spat. "That's not who I am to you. And please, just don't talk until we get to your apartment."

"Okay," he sighed, and we began walking in silence to my car. I wanted to scream. How could it be that a month ago, we were walking back to my car after dates laughing, and today, it felt like we were total strangers?

We didn't speak the entire five minute drive through the city streets to Koushiro's apartment. I stared straight ahead at the road and he looked out the passenger side window. The radio mindlessly filled the empty space between us but no matter how loud I could've turned it up, it wouldn't have been able to drown out the silence between us.

I parked on the street outside of his apartment and we got out of the car. Heart pounding, I followed behind him up to his room, staring at the back of his head and recalling the many times I had made that walk before and how truly shitty this was.

I held my breath as he unlocked the door and stepped across the threshold into the darkness of his apartment. He crossed the room and switched on the lamp next to the couch, illuminating the entire space with low light. It looked the same as it had the last time I was there. Same kitchen unit to the left that opened into a living room area with a couch, armchair, and small TV. Hallway to the right leading to Koushiro's bedroom and the bathroom. Minimal decorations. A pretty typical apartment for a quiet guy who spent too much time on the computer.

My eyes fell on a medium sized cardboard box sitting on the couch, filled with t-shirts, picture frames, and videogames. Our relationship, all packed up and sitting right in front of me.

"Is that it?" I nodded, indicating towards the box. My mouth felt dry as the words escaped my throat.

"Yes," he said. "Listen, I don't want it to be tense like this between us forever… I mean," he cleared his throat. "We're going to know each other for the rest of our lives, being Chosen Children. I was hoping that we could reach a point of mutual amicability so we can better enjoy group gatherings in the future."

 _Mutual amicability?_

"So basically you want me to forget than anything ever happened between us and treat you like I treat Jou or Takeru or Daisuke so I don't publicly embarrass you by reminding you that we dated?" I seethed.

"No," The condescending patience in Koushiro's voice was like nails on a chalkboard. "I want us to be able to function like normal human beings around each other and not be driven by negative feelings about our relationship."

"I wouldn't have negative feelings if you hadn't fucking dumped me without looking back!" I exclaimed. "What the fuck happened? I can't _believe_ how unemotional you are, it's like you didn't even care! Doesn't it hurt? Do you miss me at all?"

Koushiro didn't say anything.

"I just don't understand _why_ ," I continued, my voice breaking. "Why? What happened? Why didn't you want me anymore?"

"It wasn't that I didn't want you-"

" _Then what the hell was it?_ "

He paused for a moment, then furrowed his eyebrows in determination and began talking. "Honestly, I felt like I became an object to you. I didn't feel like you were interested in me as an individual person anymore, I was just there to fill the space and have sex with. And then to hear tonight that you went out and slept with all those other people-" He shook his head. "Seriously, Taichi?"

"Oh, _please_ , don't even," I was getting angrier with every passing second. " _You broke up with me_ , didn't give me a reason, and didn't return my calls-what was I supposed to do? Just sit around and wait for you to give me the time of day again? So sue me if I decided getting drunk and fucking around was better than crying myself to sleep every night-it fucking was! And why the hell wouldn't you just tell me that I was pissing you off instead of _dumping_ me?"

"I did tell you. Multiple times."

"No, you-"

"Yes, Taichi, I did." His voice was icy. "I repeatedly asked you to try and take more of an interest in my interests, ask me more questions about my life, and consider my feelings as much as you consider your own. But there was an apparent and long-standing trend in our relationship where I would communicate a _simple_ need to you, and you would apologize, but then proceed to do nothing. I guess this time I decided to avoid the inevitable disappointment."

I was livid. I had never been so upset in my entire life.

"Fine," I said. "Fine, if I really was such a fucking terrible boyfriend to you, fine. If that's how you want to remember our relationship, fine. I don't give a shit. I hope you find someone who makes you happy, then, since apparently I can't," I picked the box up off the floor and heaved it into my arms. "Open the door," I ordered. "I'm going home now."

"God, you don't have to be so dramatic-"

"Open the door," I repeated.

Koushiro closed his mouth and did as he was told. Tightening my hold on the box, I stormed into the hallway and left without looking back.

Once I was out of earshot of Koushiro's door, I started running. I just wanted to be out of there, to forget that anything had even happened, to leave this place and these memories forever. I raced down the staircase, my heart pounding in rhythm with my feet hitting the ground. It felt like everything inside me was going to fall out and I wished it would, I wished I would just fall apart and lay on the ground, unfeeling. Tears were burning the edges of my eyes as I ran, but I blinked them back. Once I got to the car, I promised myself. Then I could cry. I just needed to get to my car.

It was pouring rain when I pushed open the security door and stepped outside. I broke into a full out sprint down the sidewalk and across the street to where my car sat parked. I was so close to freedom. As I skidded to a stop, trying to avoid the puddles in the street around my car, I shoved my hand into my pocket and felt my heart abruptly freeze in my chest.

No keys.

Shifting the weight of the box to my other arm, I dug into my other pocket, and my back pockets as well, all turning up empty.

"What the-?"

Suddenly, the rainwater on the driver's side window reflected a glint of silver from inside the car. Panicking, I pressed my face to to the glass. Sure enough, there were my car keys, sitting peacefully on the cushion of the driver's seat, completely unaware of my emotional agony.

I could've murdered someone.

I was progressively getting more and more wet, the public transportation stopped running at midnight, and Yamato didn't have a car to come rescue me. My parents were out of town, and Hikari didn't have a phone. Had I not been on the verge of a mental breakdown, I might have been a little more resourceful and found a better solution to my problem. Unfortunately, I'm known for my impulsivity when I get emotionally overwhelmed and this wasn't an exception. I took out my cellphone and did the first thing I could think of.

I dialed Koushiro's number.

"Hel-"

"So," I cut him off, "Here's the deal. My car keys are locked inside my car, it's raining like Noah's Ark is going to sail around the corner at any moment, and it's 12:30 in the morning. You are going to let me sleep on your couch, you will not speak to me, and in the morning, I will call Yamato and have him bring my spare set of keys. Deal?"

"...I'll be right down to let you in," Koushiro sounded less than thrilled. Fuck my life.

I hung up the phone and hurried back under the overhang over the front door of the apartment to wait. Seriously, fuck my life. I came over here to get my shit, and now I was having a sleepover at my exboyfriend's apartment. It had to be a joke. Yamato and Mimi were going to come out of the front door and point and laugh, saying they set this whole thing up to get back at me for being a douche during dinner.

The door opened and I held my breath, hoping, but it was only Koushiro and his stupid red hair.

"Come in," he said, voice monotone.

"I thought I told you not to speak to me?"

"Taichi, I'm now hosting you at my apartment out of pure hospitality. I'm not obligated to comply with your bullshit." He must've been really pissed, he had never sworn at me like that before. His expression was tired as he held the door open for me, waiting for me to move.

"Whatever," I muttered.

I followed him back up the stairs still carrying the now damp box in my wet arms. I wanted to scream, cry, hit him, shake him, kiss him, and go drown myself in the rain, all at the same time. I didn't have enough feelings to feel exactly how much I didn't want to have to sleep in Koushiro's apartment with him hating me in the next room all night long. Had I known earlier that I was going to end up here like this, maybe I would've taken Yamato's advice and stayed home. Maybe I would've just accepted our break up and started moving on, like everyone else had told me to. Maybe I would've tried harder to be a good boyfriend and a good person instead of selfishly only thinking of myself and my emotions.

Maybe I should've.

The lamp was still on when I reentered the apartment. The living room looked so cozy with the soft yellow light and the sound of the rain outside. The complete opposite of what I felt like inside. I felt a lump form in my throat that was too big to swallow.

"I'll get you a change of clothes," said Koushiro quietly, and he slipped into the darkness to his room. I set the box down next to the couch and sunk into the cushions, running a hand through my wet hair. There were worse things than this situation. I mean, I could've been dead or something. At least I was still alive.

Koushiro came back and handed me a pair of basketball shorts and a worn t-shirt. As soon as I took them from him, his smell immediately flooded my senses: a husky vanilla mixed with fresh laundry. As I inhaled, I suddenly couldn't hold it in any longer.

I burst into tears.

"Taichi!"

"I'm sorry," I sobbed into the basketball shorts. "I'm so, so sorry." I felt like an idiot, but I couldn't stop. Everything that had been burning in my body was finally being poured out.

Koushiro remained silent, but I felt his weight fall on the couch next to me. I kept crying, still holding my face in the clothes, completely emotionally exhausted and embarrassed. After a few minutes, I felt Koushiro's warm fingertips tentatively press into the back of my neck, barely brushing the edge of my hairline.

"It's okay," he whispered gently.

"No, it's not," I choked out. "I treated you like shit, I continued to treat you like shit, I have no self-control, I fucked strangers when I should've been trying to be a better person for you-" I paused, struggling to find the words. "You're the most amazing, brilliant person I know, and I'm a total dick."

Koushiro's fingers were in my wet hair now, soothingly stroking my scalp. "It's okay."

"I can't do this without you anymore," I said, voice shaking, lifting my face out of the basketball shorts. I'm sure I looked like a hot mess with bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks, but I didn't have any energy left to care. "Please," I whispered.

The air was perfectly still as he looked at me.

"...Damn it, Taichi," he said, smiling softly. He shook his head in exasperation, grabbed my face with both of his hands, and pressed his lips against mine.

My brain erupted into exclamation points as we connected, like fireworks had just gone off in the deepest part of me and were exploding into my blood. I was going into overdrive trying to process my emotional reaction in time with my physical response to his touch. I inhaled as he bit my lip, my heart overwhelmed. I hadn't realized how much I had missed him until I had him again like this, and now that I remembered, I wasn't going to let him go. His velvet lips, smooth teeth, teasing tongue, wandering hands, all of it, it was mine. I strengthened our connection, turning my body to face him as I kissed him harder, gaining momentum in our movements. Soon, we were falling backwards into the pillows, completely tangled together.

"As much as I love the wet t-shirt look," he said between kisses, "I'd enjoy this more if you were less damp." His freckles shimmered in the low light as he wrinkled his nose.

"I can fix that," I said, sitting up and yanking my rain-soaked shirt over my head. As I dropped it over the edge of the couch and onto the floor, I watched Koushiro gaze at my body, his eyes full of lust. He always looked at me like I was some some sort of Greek god during sex. God, I loved that face. I loved knowing that just looking at me turned him on.

"Better?" I asked, running my fingers through my still wet hair, even though I already knew the answer. I could feel his cock pulsing underneath my balls from where I was sitting on him.

"Mmm," he replied, running a hand down my stomach. His fingers dusted the patch of soft brown hair above the button on my shorts. "Almost."

I quickly unbuttoned and unzipped my shorts, but before I could even begin to take them off, Koushiro had his hand in my zipper and was rubbing me up and down through my underwear.

"Impatient, huh?" I said, pushing my hips forward into his touch. God, it felt so good.

"Unlike you, I haven't had sex in five weeks, so sorry if I'm a little desperate," he shrugged, smirking up at me.

That was all the permission I needed to heat things up. I slid my shorts off, dropped them on the ground on top of my shirt, and then reached forward and pulled Koushiro's shirt off of him. I quickly wiggled him out of his shorts and straddled him back into the couch, my hands on his ribs. I kissed his neck, sucking hard, intentionally leaving red marks as I went so he would remember me in the morning.

"God, Taichi-" he moaned, arching his back beneath me. His head tilted back and he exposed more of his neck for me to suck on. I was fully hard now; I could feel my cock bulging and throbbing in my underwear. His breathing was getting heavier and heavier and I pressed my hips against his, rubbing our erections together. He sighed and pressed back, meeting my need.

Sweat was beginning to form a sheen on his forehead. I moved down from his neck to his chest where his nipples were waiting for me, a beautiful rosy pink against the pale white of his skin. I nipped at one of them, which was received with another moan and an arched back. He would never admit it in public, but he loved having his nipples played with. I never skipped that step during our foreplay because his reactions were always so hot.

I kissed and licked my way down his stomach until I reached the downy patch of red hair between his legs. His cock looked a little bigger than normally did; he must not have been kidding about being desperate. Without hesitating, I took him between my lips and sucked, lapping up all the precome that was leaking from the tip. He tasted salty and clean and so very _Koushiro_ in my mouth, I felt like I could die from happiness and come from how aroused I was and I wasn't sure which would happen first. Koushiro was panting hard as I kept sucking, running my tongue all around the silky surface of his cock.

"Aaah," he breathed, writhing beneath me and twisting his fingers in my hair, "Tai, I'm gonna-"

I quickly let him go and watched him as he lay there, eyes closed, body shining with sweat, chest heaving, his cock hard against his stomach. I couldn't take it anymore, my own cock was aching. I had to have him, and I had to have him now.

He seemed to read my expression because we reacted at the same time.

"Fuck, Koushiro, I need to-"

"Can you-"

"Ouch!"

We fell off the couch and onto the floor.

"Come on," he said, grabbing my hand and dragging me to my feet. He led me through the darkness to his bedroom. "Everything is where it usually is," he said, crawling onto the bed.

My eyes adjusted to the dark as I made my way to his dresser. I opened the top drawer and sure enough, the half full box of condoms and bottle of lube were still in the same place, looking the exact same as I how I left them the last time I was here. I grabbed a condom and the bottle, took off my underwear, and got in the bed. I rolled onto my back and pulled Koushiro on top of me, our now completely naked bodies rubbing together.

Now it was Koushiro's turn to kiss my neck. As he worked on me, I tore open the wrapper of the condom and carefully rolled in on to my throbbing cock. I had never wanted to have sex so bad in my entire life. Even all those one-night stands put together couldn't equal the desire that was welled up inside my body. It seemed absolutely ridiculous to me now that I would even try and find someone who could make me this aroused. It was only Koushiro. It was only ever Koushiro.

Once the condom was on, I coated my fingers in lubricant and reached a hand behind Koushiro. Without warning, I slid a finger inside him, causing Koushiro to let out a low moan in my ear. He was hot and tight inside and my cock twitched with anticipation.

"More," he sighed, spreading his thighs a little farther apart, and I slid another finger inside, gently stretching him. I wrapped my other hand around his erection and worked him up and down, enjoying the total control I had over him.

"Ready," he breathed, and I withdrew my hands and carefully wiped the remaining lubricant on my hand onto my cock. I was so hard I felt like I could come at any moment. Koushiro lifted his hips and I lined myself up with him. As Koushiro lowered himself downward, I pushed upward and entered him, and the lustful cry that came out of Koushiro's throat was almost too much. It was the greatest feeling the world, the only feeling that I cared about,

Koushiro loved to be dominated, I loved to dominate, and I wanted more. I pulled out of him and roughly flipped us over, pushing Koushiro's legs back apart and reentering him with more force. He cried out louder, grabbing my shoulders and scratching down my back, his breaths turning into audible moans with every thrust.

"Aah, Taichi-don't stop," he gasped, wrapping his legs around me, pulling me in closer. "Don't stop."

I continued thrusting, hitting deeper and deeper inside him. My body felt like liquid, like molten lava, heated and melting all over Koushiro. And he was perfect, everything about his body was perfect, the way we fit together, his white skin, his dark red hair, his eyes, his perfect figure, everything. He was a masterpiece in my arms, something rare that could never be duplicated or replaced by anyone or anything else. There was nothing better than this.

I could feel something tightening inside me as I started reaching my climax. I sped up and felt twinges of pain on my back where Koushiro's nails were breaking my skin. He was still making audible noises and I was sure that I was hurting him, but the way he was still clinging to my back told me that he didn't want me to slow down.

Suddenly, he bit my shoulder and I watched as he spilled himself, hot white on our stomachs, and it was too good, the sharp feeling of teeth and sticky warm on my skin was too-

Stars exploded in my eyes as I released everything in me into him and rode it out, pushing out every drop, feeling waves crash over my body as I collapsed on top of him.

My body quieted and stilled on top of his.

When I opened my eyes, I saw his looking at me.

"I love you," I said, sliding out of him and crawling up closer to him so I could lay my head on the pillow beside him. "Fuck, Koushiro, I love you so much. God, you're too good." I knew he didn't like being complimented on his sexual performance, but I couldn't not tell him.

"Thanks," he said sheepishly.

"Mmm," I said, my eyelids starting to feel heavy. "Can I sleep here with you?"

"Sure," he said, settling himself into the curve of my body. "...Hey Taichi?"

"What is it?" I asked, not opening my eyes.

"...Can I keep the box?"

I laughed. "It's all yours, babe."


End file.
